Tell me, what a coincidence this world can be: one moment I had just written about you, and the next, I found you were gone.
But this time—
I’m calm. I won’t fret helplessly like an ant on a hot pan anymore.
I’ve made peace with it. I won’t run around looking for any trace of you like a needle in the sea anymore.
What you left are memories, with joy and the sadness of parting.
What I buried are experiences, with reluctance to let go and a sense of release.
All the big fish will come together again.
Maybe one day we really will pass each other on a crowded street?
Who knows.
If that day comes, a nod and a smile would still count as a little flutter for something we once shared.
In the dark of night, branches hanging from a tree can frighten me into stumbling over my own feet.
At a low rumble of thunder, I instinctively cover my ears and lower my head, burying it against my chest.
When firecrackers go off, I cover my ears as tightly as I can to keep out the crackling, but my eardrums still feel as though they’re bursting.
Waves of rhythm come from the speakers, and my heart feels about to jump out of its chamber.
Do you know what I’m most afraid of?
Not dying, with dried bones turning to ash.
But living, facing the world alone.
Do you feel that way, too?
Once, I hoped you would be someone unique in my world, without being my one and only.
Now, whatever direction life takes, I hope you’ll keep walking and looking for your happiness, just as you used to. That would bring the greatest happiness to me, to those who care about you, to those around you, and to the world.
Someone said the world is a field of magnetic currents, and each person’s thought is like a tiny electric current.
Circling around and around.
So, have you heard what’s in my heart?
Thank you for once stopping here.