I Know I’m Biased

00:01 I recently tried watching

00:03 a highly acclaimed TV series.

00:07 But after the first episode,

00:09 I couldn't keep watching.

00:12 It felt as though the writer

00:16 had deliberately created a plot hole

00:19 to make the heroine

00:23 enter that particular situation,

00:26 setting the rest of the plot in motion.

00:31 I remember thinking

00:34 that it completely defied common sense.

00:41 Why design it that way?

00:44 To me, common sense says

00:47 that any normal person

00:48 would know this couldn't happen.

00:52 Yet the writer made it happen that way.

00:56 That plot hole made me wonder:

01:02 why were so many people

01:03 willing to finish a series like this,

01:08 and even praise it as excellent

01:15 and realistic?

01:17 I won't deny

01:23 that this could be my own bias.

01:27 My own bias is certainly involved.

01:30 Sometimes I think, if I can do something,

01:34 why can't someone else do it?

01:38 I often hold people to harsh,

01:43 very high expectations.

01:49 But returning to the series,

01:51 it was genuinely well made.

01:54 I simply couldn't

01:55 immerse myself in its narrative

01:57 and follow its rhythm to the end.

02:00 So after the first episode,

02:02 once I spotted that plot hole,

02:04 I chose not to continue.

02:07 I dropped it after one episode.

02:10 Even with its excellent reputation,

02:12 and many women calling it realistic,

02:17 it couldn't draw me in,

02:19 so I couldn't keep watching.

02:23 Returning to my high expectations,

02:27 well...

02:29 I've discussed this with others before.

02:33 Perhaps I assume too much context.

02:38 I assume for other people

02:40 contexts they cannot experience

02:43 or possess

02:46 as if those contexts were theirs.

02:49 Sometimes the judgment

02:53 I assume everyone has,

02:55 or the logical ability I assume they have,

02:59 simply isn't there.

03:02 And I assume that because

03:05 I can do certain things—

03:07 like leave a job,

03:11 stop trying to please someone,

03:14 or give up some notion of success—

03:20 I feel I can do all of those things.

03:24 So why are some people so attached?

03:27 This may be a question

03:29 that frustrates many people.

03:33 But to me,

03:34 sometimes you can simply

03:36 do what you want to do.

03:37 But in some people's circumstances,

03:40 they don't have the capacity

03:45 to think, judge, and choose.

03:48 It's not that they lack ability.

03:49 Rather, under their

03:52 physical and mental conditions,

03:55 or the pressure they're under,

03:59 the conditions needed

04:02 to make those choices no longer exist.

04:06 They've disintegrated,

04:08 or collapsed.

04:10 In circumstances like those,

04:14 becoming trapped in certain situations

04:17 may be understandable.

04:20 Yet sometimes I feel

04:23 that it still isn't entirely reasonable.

04:25 For something to happen,

04:28 it must be a two-way process.

04:31 And beyond the person involved,

04:34 the environment also matters.

04:38 So my biases certainly exist.

04:42 I'm also very careful

04:45 to keep them hidden.

04:47 The result of hiding them

04:50 is that I no longer choose

04:55 to express many opinions in public.

04:57 I think that sometimes

04:59 my opinions can hurt others.

05:04 The harm can be very direct.

05:08 For example, when I worked in education,

05:13 I thought that a student

05:14 handling what they needed to do then

05:17 was simply a matter of course.

05:21 I wouldn't praise them by saying,

05:24 "You did so well.

05:26 You did this particular thing,

05:28 and did it so well."

05:29 I didn't believe

05:31 that whenever a student did well,

05:33 a teacher had to praise them

05:36 or encourage them.

05:39 I thought, that's what you should do.

05:43 Why seek someone else's approval?

05:49 I even shared this view

05:53 with my students.

05:56 One of the students I mentored told me,

05:59 "But teacher,

06:01 even when I do well,

06:02 I still want someone to praise me."

06:05 I remember thinking,

06:07 wow, that's quite surprising.

06:13 I mean...

06:16 At some point,

06:17 I realized

06:18 that I had always used my own values

06:20 to view the people and events around me.

06:23 When my values conflict with theirs,

06:25 I feel

06:27 that my internal logic

06:30 or underlying operating structure

06:32 is so different from everyone else's.

06:37 So sometimes I choose to compromise.

06:41 But it's not something I truly want to do.

06:45 I do it to make the other person happy,

06:48 to please them,

06:50 and make them feel needed.

06:52 That's why I do it.

06:54 But I don't see that as people-pleasing.

06:59 Instead, it's more like...

07:01 If someone needs praise

07:04 or recognition,

07:05 then I should give them

07:09 what they need.

07:11 But if that means sacrificing

07:13 my own interests to satisfy them,

07:16 I absolutely won't accept it.

07:23 So I feel

07:25 the world is actually quite complicated.

07:29 So complicated

07:32 that I can't simply be myself,

07:36 and so complicated that I can't

07:38 express myself more smoothly.

07:45 All right.

07:46 One TV series

07:48 led me to say all of this.

07:53 I'll wrap up here for now.