I can’t remember how long it’s been since you left my world. Afterward, everyone I saw seemed to look like you.
You said, let’s pretend we never knew each other. We’ll never meet again.
Words I thought I’d only see in a movie appeared before my eyes one day. And I, too, had the good fortune to play the heroine who breaks the audience’s heart.
Our lives no longer cross, but I still follow everything about you.
Yesterday, you received his Christmas Eve apple, his roses, and a song he sang for you.
You said you were happy.
Yes, I saw your smile.
Somewhere you don’t know about, I grieved quietly on the other side of a screen.
The red dot on WeChat Moments no longer appeared. The avatar on Qzone no longer updated. Everything seemed to have stopped, leaving only me, trembling as I looked at all the dazzling beauty before my eyes.
Some people are only meant to pass through. That must be why we have the word “passerby.”
After pretending to have let go, we miss those days together terribly, telling the world like fools: Mr. XXX, may you always be well. I’ll be well, too.
Who would know that once we lower our heads, the tears won’t stop, and we tell ourselves a thousand times: I wish you were always here, by my side.
Some feelings can fool other people, but they can’t fool ourselves.
Just as some words can only be said to ourselves
.
I can’t drink, and I don’t want to, yet I can’t hold back the urge.
Once a glass goes down, everything I’ve hidden comes pouring out.
Amid the neon and drinking, I stare at the swaying wineglass. Where are you now? Do you still remember me?
There’s a saying that loneliness is the one certain ending, anyway.
Thinking back over the road I’ve traveled, when has loneliness not been by my side?
Really, I’m afraid of loneliness, yet I have to pretend I enjoy it.
Just like him: after traveling to countless places, he still needs the other man’s company in the end.
Well, I wish you both happiness. I’ll be happy, too.
And finally—
May I meet someone in the years I have left. To share our hearts would be enough.